idealistic | IC INBOX {driftfleet}

[Wow all of that is brand new information. And it's pretty freaky sounding, even if part of him feels like it sounds familiar in a far-off memory sort of way (what? It's been like 5 years since Kratos explained this to him). He's really not sure what to make of the idea of someone transforming into an angel- but one thing sticks out in his mind]

- Eh? You can't eat?

[Sweet mother of Christ what would the point of living even be then.]

I can eat now! But I couldn't before.

[ now he only refuses to eat willingly because screw those proteins. ] After the Toxicosis first hit, every time I tried to eat, it was like I was always losing my appetite. The food just felt weird in my mouth and it would just make me feel sick.

[ it was the worst three or so days of his life. ]

That's terrible....

[Absolutely terrible. The worst. He's never going to whine about gray skin or feeling like there's things in his head again]

[But...it would explain the low nutrient levels]

But you've been eating now?

[ he's glad to see a kindred spirit in you, Allen. he legit cried a little when he was able to taste beef again. ]

Sometimes. I can eat now, but I still don't need to. I usually try to pack a lot of food onto the ship when we're on planets and waystations, but sometimes we get low, and I'd rather let everyone eat real food. [ again: because screw those proteins. ]

So I let the ones who actually need to eat have the rest.

Edited 2015-04-23 23:29 (UTC)

I see...

[That is very noble of you Lloyd. Very self sacrificing. Even Allen's not that nice.]

[But honestly, this whole thing still screams very weird to him. So he'll finish checking his pulse then pull away to wheel over a whiteboard. He writes down "ANGEL TOXICOSIS" at the top and begins listing the symptoms: glowing blood, loss of taste, loss of appetite-]

Let's start with food-

Has your appetite returned to normal? Er- do you still get hungry, even if you don't need to eat? And what about your taste buds?

[ believe him Allen, it was a tough call. he's pretty sure that the chef on duty would sometimes cook up steak just to spite him ]

Um… [ also why did this suddenly turn into a classroom ]

Kinda. I can still taste stuff and my stomach still growls, but I can ignore it for a while. Then it just stops and I feel fine even if I don't eat for days.

Hmmm...

[He considers that, before writing "Increased Cytokines? Hormonal Changes?"- that'd at least explain the lack of hunger feeling. But- what makes up for the lack of calories and nutrients?]

When you decide to eat again after a long fast- can you eat with no problem?

Edited 2015-04-24 01:17 (UTC)

[ "cyto"-what? ]

Yup. I can eat as much as I usually do without feeling sick or anything. [ which is a lot ]

Interesting...

[No total shut down of the digestive tract- maybe it goes on standby? But what acts as it's replacement?]

And you still use the bathroom as normal during periods you decide to eat?

Uh…

[ cue feeling weirded out. what does his bathroom habits have to do with-- …wait a minute. now that he thinks about it… ]

Actually, yeah. It kinda stops whenever I don't eat for a while, though.

...Well, yes. Of course it would stop if there's no food in you.

[Way to know your digestive system basics Lloyd! But at least it doesn't sound like there's damage to the digestive system. Hmmmm. He considers and puts "Digestive system becomes secondary?"]

What about sleep? You said you can't sleep anymore?

[ wow be quiet, he doesn't think about these things! ]

Nah, it's the same as when I eat. I couldn't fall asleep before no matter what I tried, but now I can-- I just don't have to.

I see...

[He writes down "Insomnia", "No need for sleep". He then looks at the board for a long time....yeah. None of this is making sense from a medical point of view. Maybe he should run these things through with Dr. Crusher? Or Dr. Keller? They were both more experienced than he was.]

[There's a long pause before he decides to speak the actual thing gnawing at his mind. After all, before he's a medic- he's always an Exorcist. Always. ]

...In my world, angels are considered holy beings. They're the servants of God, and they carry out His will for the good of His children.

Is it the same in your world? Do you really believe that's what you're becoming? [Because he looks at Lloyd, he looks at that crystal, what his eye can see- and well]

[God is the last person he thinks was involved in its creation.]

…

[ he's quiet for a moment, looking down at the crystal sitting on his hand, as his other hand moves to gently run his thumb across the smooth surface. does he believe he's becoming a real angel? of course not, not after what he knows about the slowly dying religion. Allen's concerns about Lloyd becoming a "real" angel are justified-- because Lloyd has those same concerns as well. ]

…For a while, we thought it was the same for us. Angels were servants of the Goddess Martel, and they did exactly what you said your angels did. We had a whole religion about the Goddess Martel, too: churches, temples-- even a Chosen One that would join the angels and save the world.

[ he clenches his teeth, the hand not idly tending to his exsphere clenching along with it. ] But it was all a lie. The angels, the religion, the Chosen system-- everything. All the angels were just half-elves that ended up changing their minds and bodies and started calling themselves "angels". They were tired of all the oppression they got from everyone else, that they just gave up everything that they were… all for the sake of a better future that they'd probably never get. Looking at them, you'd think they were just dolls with wings.

[ glassy, red eyes behind wheat blonde lashes flashed in his mind, and he had to close his eyes to stop himself from getting sick. it takes a second for him to gather his bearings before he continues. ]

…I know we aren't exactly "real" angels. Actually, I don't know what even counts as a "real" angel anymore. [ are true angels real? or are they just some sort of myth invented by a creative mind, much like how Mithos created his angels? at this point, Lloyd's not so sure. ] It's just the easiest thing for us to call what we are, since we're so used to it.

Edited 2015-04-24 03:03 (UTC)

[....]

[There's a bit of silence at that. The story that Lloyd weaved was...downright appalling. Allen was far from the most devout Christian, there were so many rules he broke, or didn't care for. There was also that little issue of being wanted by the Church for treason. Even so, he still believed. Years of being away from Earth couldn't shake that. And the idea that these half-elven people went so far as to build a religion about themselves and declare themselves angels and goddess? And using crystals that trapped deceased souls to pull it off? It's...sickening. Not even the Millennium Earl was that bad.]

[What sort of oppression were these half-elves facing to make them fall that far? And why was Lloyd caught up in it? What did he have to do with it? And Kratos? They were humans, as far as he could see. Were they Chosen Ones? Humans just unfortunately caught up in this atrocious farce?]

[A cold, dark room with several large holes in the floor, full of child-like bodies that wake to know nothing of sky or the world outside the war. Destroyed if they start to remember anything of before-]

[He pinches the bridge of his nose, as if that will make that memory go away. It wasn't his, and it was one of the last things he wanted to dwell on. It was better to focus on now. And so, he'll look at Lloyd.]

...I'm sorry. That sounds... [No, he doesn't have a proper word for it. No word was good enough.]

[The mention of dolls with wings comes back to him. He frowns, Lloyd certainly wasn't a doll now but....]

You said dolls with wings. But you're not...

What's...going to happen to you?

Edited 2015-04-24 04:42 (UTC)

[ again, he grows quiet as his thumb moves from the exsphere to the gold key crest surrounding it. what will happen to him? will the flareup he had a couple of months ago be his last? or will he experience more flareups that will eventually result in him being as blank-faced as the angels he'd fought against.

there's only one real answer he can give: ]

…Honestly, I have no clue.

[ he has a key crest, so theoretically, he should be okay. at the same time, though, he shouldn't even be having these flare ups because he has a key crest-- at least, that's what everyone back home theorized. yet here he is with two toxicosis flare-up under his belt and, well, who knows about the possible third.

even so, Lloyd's not going to let it get to him. even if he continues to deny it, Lloyd knows he has Kaneis's support-- and possibly Allen's now that he more or less knows the extent of the toxicosis. it's scary, but if he recovered from being unable to eat or sleep, then what's to say the last part isn't exempt either?

his lips upturn into a small but confident smile. ]

But… I think I'll be okay-- no, I know I'll be okay. It took a few days for my key crest to fight off the worst of what happened, but it still did the job. I can eat and sleep again, though I don't exactly need to. [ he looks back to Allen. ] So whatever I end up losing, I know I'll get it back again.

[ if the key crest he made was enough for Colette to come back to him, then his own key crest should be enough to eventually bring him back when that time comes. if Colette can get better, so can he. ]

Edited 2015-04-24 05:14 (UTC)

[Allen considers these words. There was so much he didn't know about this situation- and he hated it. There were so many uncertainties. But he can admire Lloyd's confidence. And he'll only encourage it]

...Yes. You're going to be okay.

[It was a promise. If somehow this key crest failed, then he'd do what he could to make sure this guy made it out. ]

If it's alright, I'd like to send my information on you to Dr. Keller on your ship. She's more experienced in unusual cases than I am, and she'd be able to keep a closer eye. Perhaps if we learn as much as we can, we can find a way to make things easier for you. [Or even cure it, if that's what Lloyd wants.] I'll also be checking in on the situation, when I can.

And if you happen to have a spare...keycrest, I'd like to borrow it for study. [Or more likely, send it to Tadashi to study since wtf is technology] It sounds like it may be an effective treatment, but I'd rather make sure than assume.

Thanks. I really appreciate it!

[ this could also double as giving him permission to contact Dr. Keller, since yep-- she definitely needs to know as the Wonderduck's doctor. but he's also grateful that Allen is willing to get other doctors involved in this, especially since they're more familiar with the technology here than he or the Professor is (though he'd hate to imagine how she'd react to seeing all this… that's a thought for another day).

but maybe, just maybe… if they figure it out, maybe they can even find a way to put it all to a standstill altogether… ]

Man, if we had some inhibitor ore, I could definitely try making one for you! [ never mind that he's never made one from scratch; just fixed up old ones. but it can't be that hard if he uses his own as a reference! ] But I can tell you for sure that key crests definitely work. I had to fix one up for a friend of mine when she went through the same thing, but after a while, she was back to normal.

[ after all, Cruxis Crystals are nothing more than stronger, fancier exspheres. ]

[He just gives a little nod at the thanks. Since hey, that's just what they're here for]

Inhibitor Ore... [He was no miner, he knew nothing of ores. It's times like this he missed the castle that could just let you wish for any supply you needed so long as it existed.] Well, if you ever come across any ore on these planets, let me know.

[He looks at Lloyd's hand and thinks. The story itself sounds familiar as he thinks about it. That's right...Kratos had wanted to attach one of those crystals and keycrest to him to try to cure the 14th problem, hadn't he? He still has the scar from it. Wait, was that thing the cause of Lloyd's problems now? But then that mean...had that been his plan- to infect him with Angel Toxicosis? To make him reliant on a stone made out of a human soul? That could have possibly rendered him a doll if the keycrest failed? He remembered Kratos giving warnings that it wasn't a pleasant method in the slightest, but looking at it now-]

[Holy shit. He never thought he'd be grateful Nea was strong enough to reject the crystal. What is with the adults in his life? ]

[But right. That is none of Lloyd's concern. So he makes his furrowed brow look like he's doing it entirely out of concern for Lloyd.]

That's good...does...this Toxicosis, does it come from that crystal on your hand? Is that the method?

Edited 2015-04-24 17:42 (UTC)

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